Just A Thought…*galactic empire theme*

the vicious cycle continues… what’s more frightening is… I’m starting to grow content with it… am I destined to live no life for the rest of my days? *gasp* Hmm… more on that later…

have u ever thought about how some things r just separated by a fine line?… n in some cases, this line is just a blur… n it’s extremely difficult to discern one from the other...
in this case… I’m talking about confidence n arrogance…

back in the days when I had a less ‘wholesome’ figure (high school) *sigh*… I’d already reach a level of confidence a lot of people say borders on arrogance… I’d look down on people for the way they look or the grades they get… to a certain extent I feel God’s making me pay for it now… hence explaining my current predicament, stuck in a boring n uneventful phase of my life… anyway… thankfully, I’ve learnt that there is so much to learn n understand that u can never claim to know everything… coz life always has a way of making us eat our words…

but at the same time, being knowledgeable… we’re entrusted to teach others… in Islam it is said that we should share our knowledge with those who don’t yet know… n that by sharing, ur own knowledge would grow… but this is where my predicament lies… have u ever been in a situation where u try to share ur knowledge with others but instead of being thanked, u’re branded an arrogant show off?

N then there’s the group of people who think they know it all… it’s surprising really when I meet people who are indeed very learned but seem to believe that whatever knowledge they have is super n are somehow oblivious to the fact that there’s still so much they’re yet to learn n understand… I thought being learned was supposed to mean being enlightened to the fact that knowledge is so vast we’ll never know everything… yet, when they talk, it’s as if they were the ones who created the planets n the stars, n so we choose to ignore or disagree, n they brand us as arrogant…

I’ve been in both situations n I’m sure a lot of u have too… it totally SUCKS rite? How do we deal with this? Nowadays, I always remind myself to always be humble… but hey, who knows, at times I can be arrogant as well… so, here goes…

To all my friends, n to all of u reading, I’ve one request… if ever at any point in life u find me going beyond confident n become arrogant, give me a slap n remind me to back down… I promise I’ll do the same for u *evil laugh*… n about those who don’t want to listen to reason, well…
Life lesson : No matter how much u care, some people r just jackasses… let them be… when (if) they come to sense, enjoy the self-satisfaction of knowing u were right all along n laugh out loud… very loud…

Back to sulking now… where r those choc chip cookies? *grouching*

Playing It Safe…

a good friend once came to me and said… "the relationship’s going nowhere, the guy treats u like crap, u don’t feel appreciated, he always drops u for other stuff… why do some people keep holding on? Why is it so hard to get out of the relationship?"...
Initially, being the cocky person I am… my first reaction was… “well, it’s because people are actually dumb, n they choose to live in this self-created n self-imposed reality where they hope that one day things might change for the better”…*darth vader song*
But anyway… seriously… why? I think…it’s because we all have this thing called a sense of comfort being in a relationship… regardless of how good or bad it is… I mean, it’s not easy to just drop something u’ve hold onto for a while (in some cases even years *ahem*) n step up to someone n start anew… of course when I say this it applies to serious relationships… or people who’ve been waiting to be in a relationship… so this rules out all the flirting n games guys n girls play…
When I say comfort… it’s not about feeling happy…it’s more about content… u’re just okay with it… hey, I’m not saying that waiting for the person to change n start appreciating u is totally bullshit… but I guess after hearing a lot of stories n being shot down a few times myself… I guess we’ve got to start thinking about ourselves in a new light…. we can wait… but sometimes it’ll take too long and by the time they realize it, boobs would have started sagging (applicable to girls n a few guys) and supposed muscle would have turned to fat (applicable arguably to almost all guys, provided they had the body in the first place)… We’ve got to give ourselves more credit… come on people… we are worth something… n we deserve to at least get into a relationship that’s fulfilling… of course there are people who don’t but we’ll save that for another time okay…
My wish for today, that all of u realize that u’re all worthwhile… and that u have the strength to walk away n start fresh after crashing n burning…

Life lesson (which someone learnt n told me): You can’t make someone love you, you can just keep stalking them and hope they give in… well… it could work… you never know… we humans are of course… 'unpredictable'...

Back to reality now… *Austyn Power’s theme song*

About Love…

‘all is fair in love and war’… or so the saying goes… but honestly, do u believe that? I don’t… not ever since about a week ago…
another thing I no longer believe in when it comes to love is that it pays to be persistent…
the fact is… you can’t, I repeat, you CAN’T, make someone fall in love with you… no matter how much you say you love the person, no matter how many gifts you buy, no matter how much space you give, no matter how long you wait, no matter what you do… the fact is… YOU CANNOT MAKE A PERSON LOVE YOU…
hey, some of you might already be disagreeing but well… unfortunately for you, this is MY page, n the only opinions that matter are MINE *evil laugh*…
but hey, hear me out… if persistence works and that love is fair… why is it that so many of our friends end up not being with the person they’ve lost their hearts to… why is it that after all the wait, all the effort… all they get is to watch the guy or girl end up in the arms of another… what’s worse is, in some cases, the guy/girl falls for another who didn’t even have to do a thing to win their attention…
that kind of feeling sucks… n I’m sure a lot of u have been there… for those who have… I understand how u feel… for those who haven’t… I wish u never have to arrive there…
I thought about this after a conversation I had with my Dinda, Pajil n Carl… don't u just love hanging out with friends?...
Personally… I now believe that in order for any of our efforts of winning the hearts of a guy/girl to work… the first n most important thing is… there has got to be ATTRACTION… from attraction, comes FEELINGS… once u have this… u can screw up big time n still get the guy/girl…
*sigh* no wonder the girls always say, “sorry la, I appreciate everything u’ve done, u’re sweet n nice n all, but I just don’t have any feelings for u…” *dang* what they really mean must be, "u're just not attractive enough for me!"... well.. at least we should give them credit for being polite...
hmm… I guess my wish for today is for all of u reading this to be able to get together with the ones u love n long for… in case that doesn’t come true, I pray the heartache stops soon n that u find someone new who appreciates u for who u r…

Life lesson : I’ve learnt that the people you care most about in life are taken away from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. The real pains in the arse are permanent…

I shall go back to my so called life now….

What's In A Name?

no... I'm not flying planes yet... *dang*... anyway... here goes...

Part 1 :
I've wanted to become a lot of things... I wanted to become a pirate, but that meant months at sea without girls... I wanted to be a soldier, but I guess I'd end up arguing with the drill sergeant n get kicked out... I wanted to be a heart surgeon, but then I realised I'm not the studious type... I wanted to be a whole lot of things, from world dictator, pimp, Imam Masjid Negara, PM to the cool teacher who all the girls in school have a crush on... but despite all that... my one n true passion... my dream... has always been to become a pilot n fly an airplane...

Part 2 :
I used to be quite slim back in school... in fact, I was a school athlete... I could eat so much n yet still not gain weight... those days r now gone! *darth vader theme song* I guess after all those days spent running, the fat has finally caught up n I can't seem to lose 'em... *damn* I miss the days when I could proudly wear a size 32 without care... I can't do that today... not anymore... any smaller than 34 n the zipper would burst open n rain metal onto anyone unfortunate enough to be in its way... *sigh* no worries... I'm working on it but I think it's gonna take quite some time...

well... this much u already know, I've always wanted to be a pilot... n 'fortunately' for me... I've had the 'pleasure' of being friends with two very 'well meaning' n 'supportive' individuals, Pala the Black Ranger n Ali the Crimson Chin who r always around voicing out words of 'encouragement'... spurring me on to fulfill my dreams... it so happens that one day... they came across a video tape entitled 'Pity the Pilot Whale'... in what we all believe to be one of his few (n I really mean, FEW) moments of genius, Pala quickly connected the video to me... n so began the days where I would be known as the Pilot Whale...

That's how I got the name Pilot Whale... far from flattering but I have to admit I kinda like it... oh my god... I've got to get a life...

Small Gestures Go A LONG, Long Way...

It's a normal day...
I wake up, start the day off with curses coz I had to abruptly stop dreaming about that sizzling, hot chick... made my way to the bath, freshen myself up n descended the stairs... forced a smile to greet my sisters... "Good Morning!'... no one answers... approach dining table... pick up whatever food lying there in wait (*gheez* no wonder I keep growing)... pick up the car keys n shout "OI, Tiqah, Aiysha, cepat la! korang yang nak gi sekolah ni!"...neighbours stare... I take no notice of them n coolly back the car out thru the gates... a car zooms by... if not for my 'superb' driving skills, I would have hit it... "p)@#^%^k, ni kawasan perumahan la!"... n so begins my morning lecture on how people should drive... my audience? my two lovely sisters... so we move on...
everything seems to be running fine... I reach a junction... n then this Hilux just swerves in without giving any signal...yeaps, u guessed it, 'F' word galore.... drop off Aiysha... one down, one more left to go... so I drive along the 'highway'... this red, bust up Wira right in front, moving slow... shouldn't be a problem right? WRONG...he was on the fast lane... so I honk... nothing happens... I honk again... still, ndak da respond... so I race forward n cut in front of it... *hahahaha*... n so my lecture on proper driving starts once more with Atiqah trying her best to comprehend... drop her off... now all I have to do is drive back home...
What's the whole point of this? hey... like I said... currently I don't have much of a life... n I never promised that anything I put here would make sense... *sheesh*... anyway... really... what I mean to say here is... in everyday life... so many things annoy us... heck... it drives us up the wall... n we end up saying or doing stuff that we normally would not do... n if u really look at it... they're all just little, minute things... but hey... they may be small... but all things big n huge began as something small... annoyance can turn to frustration, frustration to rage, rage to whatever comes after that... things can get ugly mates...
So... my wish for today is... I wish all u guys be granted patience n tolerance... the ability to find humour n look at the lighter side of all these things... n instead of pissing u off, it gives u reason to smile or even better, laugh... don't take life TOO seriously, u might not make it out alive...

Life lesson : Remember to not sweat the petty things, n to not pet the sweaty things... now that's another story altogether...

*sigh* I shall go back to my boring life now....

I Really Need To Loose Weight...

well hello again... ur larger than life friend is back... 3 n a half minutes after his last blog!... *sigh* please bear with me as I pull myself through this boring phase of my life...
hmm... I guess I really need to get this out of my system... WAITING SUCKS!... *pheuh* thanks...
what's wrong with Mas u ask... well... I've always heard people saying "penantian itu satu penyeksaan".... I never fully understood what it meant... until about a few years back... forgot about it n now I'm living through it.... I view myself as a patient person... a very patient person... or maybe I would just like to believe that I am... I've waited for a lot of things in life... first love, first kiss, first this first that.... n then there's also all the other stuff I want or want to do... it frustrates me each time when I think I'm finally getting it I end up not being able to get or do it for various reasons... *hurray* I've got another wish for today...
I wish that all of u reading this to not have to go through what I'm going through.... wait... that's too good to hope for.... okay... I wish that whatever or whoever u guys r waiting for comes ur way... n that ur wait won't be too painful or frustrating to bear... now that sounds better.... oh yes... I think since I've wished for that I might as well wish all of u patience n perseverence to make it all the way... amin...
hahaha... I'm done... for now... tune in again in the next 5 minutes... who knows I might get so bored I'd post another... heck... I might try n go for the world record of most blog postings in a day... *yawn*....

After All This Time...

I've finally managed to sit down and post an entry... been contemplating on what to share and what not to share with u guys... well... life has been pretty much the same for the past month... wake up, send sis's to school, get back, wash clothes, tidy up the house... damn, I have no life... at least not at the moment...
I was watching The Amazing Race the other day... was really pissed when Meredith n Gretchen got eliminated... since I didn't have much to do but sit down n ponder about my boring life... I thought, "y do Meredith n Gretchen appeal so much to me?"... n then i figured... maybe coz they're a lot more mature *cough* compared to the other couples but they made it into the top 4 before getting eliminated... but then again... that can't be all... then I remembered observing that as each n every other couple bitch n bicker with each other trying to complete the road blocks n detours, Meredith n Gretchen just stuck by each other, n supported each other all the way... of course they argue too but I admire the tolerance n thoughtfulness they show each other, regardless of how annoyed they were at one another... I guess it comes naturally when u've been together for as long as they have... I must sound really gay saying this but I admire n envy that enduring love they have for each other... yeah they're old but most couples of today can't even hope to come close to the way they love n endure each other...
hmm... I've decided what I want for today... I wish that all you guys reading this blog a happy life... n that u all find a love as strong, enduring n as passionate... s!@t... I sound so gay....